Here I am … in one of those moods. You know the kind of mood where you start think­ing with­out being able to stop. Every­thing just seems to be made of ques­tions and every poten­tial answer – again – raises a bunch of ques­tions. As if that wouldn’t be enough, I keep hop­ping from thought to thought with high speed. The last time I expe­ri­enced an onslaught like this was more than two years ago. Well, back then these things hap­pened on a reg­u­lar basis. Now I don’t know how to han­dle it any more.

It sounds weird and most prob­a­bly, it is. I don’t know why that hap­pened ear­lier – even then it seemed to come out of the blue – and I don’t know why it stopped. I’m am a multi-tasking per­son and I tend to think on a few things simul­ta­ne­ously. Not that I could stop that if I wanted to, mind you. That pro­duces some … inter­est­ing dis­cus­sions when I sud­denly change the topic in mid-sentence with­out rec­og­niz­ing it. The only hint I ever get is the con­fused expres­sion on my dia­log partner’s face. Notic­ing such expres­sions is another mat­ter entirely.

Some­times, I’m not good at that at all. No, that’s not true. Most of the time I’m not good at it. But there are these rare moments when I seem to know oth­ers bet­ter than they do them­selves. When I was a youth it was com­pletely dif­fer­ent. Some time in life I must have taken the wrong path at the cross­roads. What­ever I did or didn’t, it has turned my life upside down. I’d like to say that this scares the shit out of me but I can’t find the emo­tion to back this state­ment up. It feels more like … some sort of sci­en­tific curiosity.

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